8.16.2006

Stanks on a Plane!

man i need a chiropractic adjustment. my guy's kind of of like my Chi dealer (hmm... CHIropractor), in the same way my Acupuncturist is -- i jones.ifix.ipay. i stay high for awhile.

great rehearsal tonight @ Cole. I like the room we use. You can hear everything so clear. My manager came up tonight and gave some great ideas and input. It's so cool having a music guy as your manager. Tomorrow's show will be f-u-n. You know i don't have stage fright, but something seems to always concern me: I always think i'm gonna forget the words. Stoked to have a good time afterwards tomorrow....Been in such a good headspace lately, being able to see life's flow and sharing it with peeps. Inspired.

i'm counting the days to get on a plane..... sometimes when i sit too long i get Aches on a Plane. maybe Ricki Lake's on a plane! In first classs, it's Steaks on a Plane. Lets pray nothing Breaks on the Plane. And of course, we hates it when it Stanks on a Plane.

for all our Sakes on a Plane, i'll stop.

hmm.... where to go? nyc? england? i finally got my books in from Amazon..... would love to just get outta here and zone out a bit.....i always seem to have a handful going on at once -- fitting for my life. i haven't been able to get into God of Small Things - and i know it won a Booker Prize. It seems like a getaway book to me.

somebody better not come back from england with a fake Oxcent.

God i'm Ti Red.


p&l
fd

8.13.2006

convo with friend tonight......

i cooked for a dear girlfriend tonight and we sat around for hours drinking wine and talking. i love women. i sooo value my female relationships. and i love that i'm a woman.

we were trading "war stories" (haha, past relationship and guy stuff, friendships)....she said something interesting about trust issues. generally, she doesn't fully trust anyone. she even admitted that she feels that way towards me, someone who gives her no reason for mistrust. i told her, "well, that's good. it's nice getting to know even more things about you; it helps me be a better friend. i accept you for who you are and i love you, and quite honestly, i don't care if you fully trust me or not; i'm not going to change who i am, and this issue you have doesn't affect our relationship."

as far as me regarding trust, i come from a different perspective. i don't put anything past anyone. people are capable of anything. i try to appreciate the good people i have in my life. i think we all have things we have to deal with. just stuff. don't really wanna waste precious life on holding on to 'things.'

OMG while i'm typing this, the Aristocrats (the movie) is on, and some beautifully contemptible dialogue bouncing around the airwaves of my home. It's comforting.

8.07.2006

Stream - Exercising the Muscle

these past 3 months I have learned so much about this past year and a half….

I think our souls are born into this existence not as a clean slate, but as a ring of light that has/does collect everything like flypaper. it attracts the unconscious energy that has magnetized to us, and it goes at light speed from there. In other words, i think we are all celestial bodies, just like our fellow stars, and no matter what matter we gather, be it dust, lessons, light, darkness, gravity, photons, skin and bones, we continually move through space.... whatever we collect, we drop, and we collect again, whether it be through expanding, contracting, life, death, dream, awake, our shells, our non-shells. We could just as well be a comet or a particle of a comet someday. We could just as well be a star that's been swallowed up, but still showing it's happy twinkling 24 million light year light. We could be. We could be. ....

then – we expand. for better and worse.

then – we enter a black hole. for better or worse.

then – we have a choice to expand, which will once again end up in breaking down of things. this could be our cycle.

i feel like I’ve reached a space of entropy. for better or worse.

my soul is drilling itself deep. and the deeper they go, the bigger the branches.

one thing I’ve learned, that maybe seems so simple – of course it’s simple in it’s intellectualization –

SURRENDER.

NOTHING in my life that I over-extended my branches to WORKED OUT. EVERYTHING that came to me by the sheer principle of being *present* and as conscious as possible – to see what gifts come my way – HAS WORKED OUT.

DO THE WORK, the mindset, the goalset, with a mental and spiritual intention of LOVE – and everything shows you the way. (Hesse, Coelho)

This is a fine line, because desire based upon your unconscious issues you have not worked out will keep teaching you a lesson until you “get it.” Yay for cycles!

Paying attention to life and giving / and diminishing self-destruction in your life reaps the GREATEST REWARDS.

I don't mean to come across as postulating - Just here Now.

I'm just working on getting as close to "Maude" from Harold & Maude as I can.


details to follow….. I’m slowly working back up to this whole writing thing.

8.02.2006

journal entries.....

i don't know what's wrong with me these days.... i have been thinking in clauses. my thoughts seem to come out eloquently when speaking with friends; but once i get to a computer -- i go blank.

i am guessing this is just a phase. i did so much expiring for the past year and a half, i'm filling back up on the inspiration. i look at all the songs for my next record (Core: A Zone), and i think - how do i get to the next place?

i think that's the problem. i need to stop thinking.

i guess just getting to the next place can be a long empty bridge sometimes.

p&l
fd