i'm just sayin'

I’m feeling a trend happening: The Weekend at Bernie’s Tour of Death for the Notorious.

I first noticed with Gerald Ford. After like a week I realized ‘wow- his body is making the rounds – to a level of creepiness.' New Rule: If one really cares to view the body, take a plane to the funeral (not plural). The only services that should come to you are Pizza Delivery, The Cable Guy and well, any other sort of call-to-order with someone ALIVE.

James Brown - it’s like they had laminated him – as if miniatures could be sold as keychains or some sort of hanging diety on a rearview mirror. (Actually, I read he's shined up with Beeswax.) *I hope this information is not something i will need for personal implementation in the future. But ain't Google grand?

And then, Anna Nicole. Although she is not making the post-mortem expedition, her carousel junket reinforces our knowledge there’s a decomposing body out there. CNN - c'mon, now! I'm switching to BBC.

I feel like it’s a little disrespectful, as well, to leave the empty house hanging like that. I mean ain’t nobody home, and those things we hold on to that can’t be buried are the things that are *more* alive now.

Quantum physics shows us energy never dies. Being with a body for over an hour after someone has died, I could feel the spirit (energy) of the person leaving the room. It was a palpable presence. I was a fucking mess, but, really was trying to wrap my brain around the whole deal. It felt as if the sunbeams were straws against the window, vacuuming the energy out, permeating the trees, and sprinkling the sky.

Then a Thunderstorm came. Nice. I apply my own story to it which gives me peace, a personal myth to cope -- not to completely disregard the coincidence.

Ok back to recording.



the emotional post. bring in the orchestra.

Spring, gilt in all its symbolism, holds special meaning this year.

hard work. cold winters. planting seeds. seeing it bloom. (you know, all the typical chessy bullshit metaphors that we use -- because -- they are emblematically true.)

in March i'm gonna go to my special place at the mountain and revel in it.

it's funny: in life in order to keep all good around you, it requires a lot of fuck you's -- not necessarily going out and telling people that, but the internal meter of what is allowed and what is not allowed in your life guiding that in order to understand and protect the good people you have around you. i'm fiercely loyal and protective of those who are close to me, as i am familiar with the alternative - i've at times poorly chosen friends and business associates. (E.g., not recognizing oh - that people can lie and/or be full of shit. . . . what a concept!)

how do you know what success is if you haven't failed?

how do you know overcoming if you are not informed by adversity?

how do you know what pure love is if you have not experienced lesser degrees of love?

this week, my friend Brian Bowen Smith is having his first show, with Brandon Boyd and Brent Bolthouse.... Brian inspires me. He was also the first person to tell me to get the fuck over shit and keep doing music. coming from a guy who at the age of 28 decided to quit an uphill career in extreme sports and acting to pursue photography of all things - by phoning Herb Ritts and asking him for a job. Herb ended up teaching him everything he knows -- and -- -gave Brian his camera before he died.

fast forward to Brian being a superstar photographer today in his own right.

Brian, his wife, family -- i do feel grateful to have them as friends every single second. No matter where you come from --- you can always choose goodness around you.


now, after these past almost 3 years of learning to be a better musician, singer, writer, *person,* and doing 3.5 albums, i really feel it's time to come out and take it a step further. i'll always stick to the truth i know inside of me.

the planets are aligned, and the power of the team i'm so fortunate to have around me also have the goal. i'm the kind of person who has their internal beliefs and goals, but really want to see that the team i have around me see the things i keep close to my chest as a reality. they do. they think it, they verbalize it, and it allows me to do what i know to do best. and i feel safe for the first time in years, maybe ever.

i think i can safely say it's gonna rock.